Have you ever dumped a guy and thought we could still be friends? You would act and try to convince yourself that he is the same guy you fell in love with then you realise he is a real dick head and everytime you try to care or look out for him he blows up in your face and chucks your "friendship" in the bin and leaves it to die. You cant have a normal life together its like deep down inside you know your enemies. Like the phrase "you keep you friends close but your enemies closer". You try not to start a fight but its like everytime you see him you remember all the shit he put you through. All the plain you had to cope with and at the end of the day you realise there was more pain than love. That going out wasnt really worth it. You cant escape the fact that it happened and everyday you ask yourself why? You think for ages and realise you were just stupid and naive and looking for some fun. All the nights you spent crying yourself to sleep, all the changes you made just for him. You want to feel his love and know that he cares but you cant. When you look back you feel as though it was the best relationship you've ever had then you take a second glace and realise it was the WORST!!
So i wrote the majority of this after me and josh broke up which is years ago. And today i found an old diary that had a few little things to say about my relationship with josh and how i coped with the break up. And amazingly after so many years i have still yet to get the message. Cause i feel exactly what the last line states which is quite halarious. Its the irony of my life. Mistake after mistake. Except with the one with doug there was more at stake. Im going to formal with this guy and his paying. Not that only... lol but also the fact that my whole family has met him.. Now im not saying just my mum, dad and brother im talking about cousins, aunties and uncles. Have i ever met his dad, ever met his mum? I dont think so! I havent even been in his house. He hasnt give me that satisfaction. All ive seen is him in his birthday suit. WOO HOO!
Who gives a fuck honestly...
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